Out to Luddesdown...

Much as I would like to avoid the subject of the wretched vineyard these days, it occupies such a vast area that it is difficult to skirt around it if you are walking anywhere near Cobham or Luddesdown...

Hatch Hill...

Hatch Hill (above) has been in the clutches of the winery since its inception, and it shows. These days, I'm really past caring whether or not Vineyard Farms build their billionaire's concrete pleasure dome at Upper Bush. I hear they are quietly lobbying councillors once more and will be giving presentations to our elected representatives on their latest and undoubtedly still vainglorious and wholly unnecessary (at least from a community and national perspective) plans. What really gets me down is the weed-strewn neglect of any land that isn't under vines. It seems such a waste. Doubtless they will claim it's all for the benefit of wildlife blah blah and maybe it is, but to me it just seems like they have too much land to manage with not enough staff...

Late autumn view over Luddesdown valley...

View from Wrenches Shaw towards Cobham...

I know late autumn isn't a good look for any agricultural land but vineyards, with their exposed metalwork and miles of wire that make the fields look like war-zones, are especially ugly during autumn, winter and much of spring. They will look like this until May and the return of a welcome covering of leaves for a few short months.

Grapes left to rot on the vines...

As if to emphasise the waste, it seems that much of this year's bumper harvest is being left to rot on the vines. Whether this is down to a lack of labour, a lack of processing capacity or just quality issues, I don't know...

Starlings trying to sleep off their feast..?

...but at least the glut has attracted some wildlife back to the otherwise silent and empty fields. Flocks of starlings have been attracted to the bounty of waste and are gorging themselves insensible on the fermenting fruit. Normally they would be chattering away and squabbling amongst themselves on their perches, but this lot looked too squiffy to do anything much. Stragglers struggled to land first time and some on the ground seemed too woozy to even take off. Sad piles of feathers here and there suggested that perhaps local foxes had been taking advantage of the starling's state of apparent inebriation. I went back the next evening just before sun-set to see if I could catch a murmuration (something I haven't seen for a few years given declining starling numbers) but this lot were still perched quietly on the overhead wires, seemingly too stuffed or hungover to do anything...

Winery plant at Court and Brooker's farm yard...

The amount of kit at Court and Brookers Farm had certainly increased since the last time I bothered to look. The rotary wine presses were new additions and seemed to be quietly whirring away, so obviously something was being processed. I was surprised to see the open nature of the hoppers, but perhaps a bit of starling poo is all part of the unique flavour of the Silverhand brand...

Steel industrial vats for wine manufacture at Court and Brooker's Farm...

All these tanks (41 of them) were put in on the back of a RETROSPECTIVE planning application. This does seem to be the way Vineyard Farms work - act first, then seek permission later.  It's not the first time either. You really wish Gravesham Council's planners would just "grow a pair", refuse it all and insist the tanks were taken down, but I guess VF just have too much financial clout to be denied. Permission has been granted on a temporary basis, with the tanks having to be removed by 22 June 2026. I dare say Gravesham Council will cave in and grant an extension come the time...

As I made my way past the Golden Lion I became aware that the air was filled with a powerful, sweet, sickly aroma. At first I though it was coming from the wine factory behind the pub, but as I walked down the Luddesdown Road towards Cobham it got stronger and stronger....

Compost Corner...

It seems that what I once thought were piles of fly-tipped chalk were now being used to contain the (and perhaps neutralise the acidic) "pomice" (unwanted grape residues from pressing and juice extraction) for composting purposes. The stench was quite overpowering and I hope the wind keeps it away from Luddesdown village (and the Golden Lion) while it all rots down. I thought maybe VF might have given their proposed anaerobic digestion plant idea a whirl, but perhaps that wasn't really anything but a sop for planning purposes after all...

A "fly-tip here" sign...?

Given the amount of fly-tipping that goes on in the vicinity, this sign almost seems like the classic "kick me" joke but Vineyard Farms (always ready to throw money at problems they themselves create) have deployed a battery of security cameras in the area to keep an eye on things.  

The road, as usual, is also the subject of a retrospective planning application.  But hey, Vineyard Farms are very big and very rich, right? Why should planning laws apply to them? I see they've had their plans for a 40 space car park just up the road from the pub turned down, however.  They are also thinking about building a barn extension at the wine factory to act as an off-licence. There's already been a few accidents up the narrow lane due to winery traffic (roads signs knocked down, an HGV hitting a house, a mini-digger crashing while being towed - and these are only the ones that have made into the VF accident book, by all accounts...). I can't see these developments improving matters, but I have no doubt the Gravesham Council's planners will eventually roll over and let VF do just what they want. 

Apparently (according to VF's tardy tank application documentation), all of this development is part of a "Brexit Good News Story". Tells you all you need to know, really...

Warren Hill, looking west across Winterham Hill towards Cobhambury Road...

I had originally planned to walk up into Cobham but the cloying stench of VF's compost heap had clung to my clothing and left me feeling rather nauseous, it being one of those stinks that insists on following you everywhere. I therefore decided to head for home and walk back towards Cuxton along Warren Road. The land to the north of the road has been part of VF's empire for about three years now. It was planted out with rapeseed a while back, which was then just left, seemingly forgotten. It has finally been cut back and things look a bit tidier, if still a bit bleak and depressing...

The Warren, looking east...

I was cheered up to find out that Vineyard Farms/Silverhand Estate had finally attempted a bit of local outreach, with the "What's On" bit of their web-site (a thing of beauty, if not information) advertising a (free!) "community harvest day". More places were made available to accommodate a sudden interest from numerous Cuxton residents. This can only be a good thing (though I would be surprised if such things became a frequent and regular occurrence. We really aren't "their sort" after all...).

After having a play at picking a few grapes, the punters went back to the Golden Lion and a good time was had by all, so I hear.

The pub has long been known as "The Vineyard Farms' Social Club", by all accounts being oft-frequented by estate workers and patronised by VF's management alike. They have now cemented that close relationship by buying the lease of the pub, so I understand. Quite how long the Golden Lion will continue as a "local's pub" now is anyone's guess. Perhaps its long-term fate will to become rather like Chapel Down's The Swan at Tenterden, given the "high-end" aspirations of the new leaseholders.

(And that would be a pity because it is already the perfect pub - according to its landlord and landlady, at least. Go to their "TripAdvisor" page and you will see that anyone who leaves anything less than a four-star review must simply be a liar, an idiot or a chancer. And you can't argue with evidence like that...)

And all of this is why I dislike the vineyard so much. They just do what they want and even local councils run scared of them. 

I know it's "their" land but in effect, they have stolen the bluebells, the orchids and the butterflies from us and are reserving them for paying tourists at a price. We can't even stand and admire the view across Bush Valley without "trespassing". They have turned huge swathes of once beautiful, varied and productive ancient farmland into a bedraggled-looking, semi-industrial, sterile monoculture of grape production. They are still buying up or leasing property all around us. Luddesdown Court, the oldest house in the country, has been bought up by them and is now an AirBnB. (It would cost a family of four ELEVEN THOUSAND POUNDS to rent for just one week in summer, which shows you who the vineyard is really for - and it ain't us!). They've got all of this history in their possession and yet they feel they need to even hijack that, monetise it and churn out made-up bollocks for marketing purposes instead. 

Now you have pay for "vineyard tours" of  bluebells, orchids, wildflowers etc. But (as the innocent, early posts of this blog show) these were all things I used to enjoy at my own pace, on my own and for nothing until Vineyard bloody Farms came along. Now they've curtailed free access to "their" property, employed surly, swaggering "rangers" to tell us to "get orf our larnd" and are keeping it solely for the benefit of their wealthy paying customers.

As Joni Mitchell once sang:

"They took all the trees/Put 'em in a tree museum

And they charged the people a dollar and a half just to see 'em

Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone

They paved Paradise/Put Up a Parking Lot..."

Wealdway to Cobham...

Today I followed the North Downs Way to the ridge above Buckland Farm, and then walked down the hill to pick up the Wealdway through Luddesdown and into Cobham...

Stonyfield...

Much of the farmland owned by our feudal overlords at the "Silverhand Estate" winery has been left to revert to wilderness. It was therefore good to see that the weeds at Stonyfield were being hacked back... 

View towards Buckland Farm from the Weadlway...

View north towards Cobham in the distance from the Wealdway...

Vines from the Wealdway...

Grapes awaiting harvesting...

The vines in this area appear to have delivered a bumper crop of grapes. Vineyard Farms are going to have to put some hard work in to harvest them all...  

View north through the vineyard from the Wealdway...

View east across the vineyard from the Wealdway...

More grapes for the harvest...

View looking south from the Wealdway back towards Buckland Farm...

Not sure whether this is to deter livestock or unwanted ramblers...

View towards Cobham...

Luddesdown Church...

Court Lodge Farm through the vines...

Hawthorn berries have also benefitted from the favourable conditions...

View across Luddesdown cricket ground from Henley Down...

Panorama looking south from Henley Down...

More farmland reverting to wilderness under vineyard "management"...

I hadn't walked from Luddesdown to Cobham this way since last year. I was saddened to see that Vineyard Farms appear to have extended their tentacles to encompass Cobhambury Farm. The cereal crops that were once grown here were a welcome change from rows upon rows of dreary, weed-infested vines. Alas, all that seems to be growing now are weeds, a sight common across much of the "Silverhand Estate" that is not under vines. 

It seems incredible that in these globally uncertain times in terms of food supply, we can allow a company owned by a billionaire tax-exile to sequester vast areas of productive arable farmland that is then allowed to revert to wilderness...

The remains of another Cobham windmill? Lord Darnley's one was in the village and is now a private house...

Vineyard Farms checking out their new barbed wire fence along Lodge Lane in Cobham...

New barbed wire fencing seems to be springing up around much of the land that is constantly being added to Vineyard Farms' estate. These fences seem to be doing far better than the "hedgerows" that the vineyard boasted about planting a year or so back. The tiny hedging twigs (bought with public-funded grant money - times are tough for billionaire tax-exiles after all...) were shoved in the ground at the start of last year's drought and unsurprisingly, most of them seem to have died...  

View across the valley from the Darnley trail...

View south from the hill above Warren Road...

Warren Hill wilderness...

The farmland to the north of Warren Road came under the tender care of the vineyard a couple of years ago. It was deep-ploughed, dragging up the unsightly chalk substrate, and has since been left to the weeds. Once again, productive farmland seems to be neglected and is reverting to wilderness...

View towards Cuxton across Forge Field...

A small oasis of managed land still exists above Forge Cottage....

Barrow Hill, view across Bush Valley...

...and still Barrow Hill remains weed-strewn. This, of course, was intended to be the site of Vineyard Farms' vainglorious winery, plans for which were finally rejected by the Planning Inspectorate a few months back. The time window to appeal to the High Court against that decision has long since elapsed. Both the Medway Council and the Planning Inspectorate websites give no indication that Vineyard Farms/MDCV UK Ltd have lodged an appeal, nor can I find any evidence of one on the High Court schedules to date.

Whisper it quietly, but I think VF may have finally abandoned their grandiose scheme, at least in its original design. 

We await their next throw of the dice...

Ludd's a Dud....

The mythical King Ludd is plagued by a greedy giant. Perhaps there's a metaphor here?

Earlier I wrote a post about Vineyard Farms’ latest batch of fake fizz and its equally fake-sounding marketing campaign for it.

Their marketing blurb for it states that:

…”Silver Reign is a reflection of our regal heritage. We invoke King Ludd's pioneering legacy to bring the unique terroir in the Garden of England to life, producing England's finest sparkling wines…”

“Our regal heritage”…?!  “We invoke King Ludd’s pioneering legacy”…?!

I read this and wondered just what fresh hell Vineyard Farms is now trying to inflict upon us.

Like many others I was inclined to think that in their unilateral renaming of large parts of the parishes of Cuxton, Halling and Luddesdown as the “Silverhand Estate”, Vineyard Farms had simply liked the vibe and gone with it. 

Many of the fields, woodlands and roads around Cuxton and Luddesdown have interesting and unusual names, names that are steeped in local history. Wrangling Lane, Cutter Ridge, Bushy Wood, Hatch Hill, Brimstone Hill, Brazenden Wood, Backenden Hill: all of these names mean something locally and would have made fitting titles for Vineyard Farms’ new estate and their brands. That would mean that Vineyard Farms would need to acknowledge the pre-existence of the local community around their new fiefdom however, something they don't seem to want to do.

After all, I can see why a moniker like “Silver Hand” might appeal to a certain type of management team. It has a remote, cold, impersonal feel to it, invoking both wealth and power. There are no warm or friendly connotations associated with the thought of the cold, metallic grasp from a powerful, wealthy, disconnected hand. It almost seems to have been adopted as a warning first and a brand second. 

In terms of historical precedent or links of the Silverhand name with the areas of Cuxton, Halling or Luddesdown however, there appeared to be none whatsoever – indeed, the most prevalent on-line reference to “Silverhand” was to a computer game character!

Johnny Silverhand "doesn't care much for the people around him as long as they are used to accomplish his goals..."

I like to think I know a little bit about local history, but the mention of a “King Ludd” rather puzzled me. It was certainly one I hadn’t come across before in my various researches in relation to Luddesdown.

Vineyard Farms themselves say that the “Silverhand” name comes from:

“…the history of the area - King Ludd, the founder of Luddesdown and many other points of interest, lost his hand in battle and had it replaced with a Silver Hand.  Hence, we have taken that inspiration and name our vineyard the Silverhand Estate….”

Stories of King Lludd Law Eriant (“Ludd of the Silver Hand”) state that he was King of the Britons from around 79BC to 18BC, and allegedly ordered the rebuilding of London's walls and towers. They go on to tell us that the city, hitherto known as Trin ovantum, thus became the city of Lud, i.e. Kaerlud. This was later corrupted to Kaerfundein, from whence came its present name. Ludd was eventually buried in London, close to Ludgate that still bears his name.

These tales arise from the History of the Kings of Britain as written by Geoffery of Monmonth (1095-1155) - a work which is now pretty much regarded as “a literary forgery containing little reliable history”!

Geoffery of Monmonth, it seems, was much more of a romanticist than a historian, many of his works being associated with mythical figures such as King Arthur. Indeed, it seems that his stories about King Ludd were derived from Welsh folklore.

The reality of local history may not be as glamorous or magical as Vineyard Farms would like it to be, although it is still fascinating nonetheless.

The dates given for the “reign of King Ludd” above coincide with a time just fifty years before the Roman invasion of Britain. The country at the time was divided into many different kingdoms ruled over by their own tribal kings, rather than a single “King of the Britons” as Ludd was claimed to be.

At the time of the Roman invasion in 43AD, Kent itself was under the rule of the four kings whom the Romans called the Cantiaci (whose capital was at Durovernum Cantiacorum, now called Canterbury) and who Julius Caesar named as Segovax, Carvilius, Cingetorix, and Taximagulus. On the news of the Roman landing, the British tribes united to fight the invaders under the command of Togodumnus and his brother Caratacus of the Catuvellauni tribe.

These British tribes were subsequently defeated at the Battle of Medway and fell back to the Thames, a wider river that was harder for the Romans to cross and easier to defend. Londinium was subsequently established as a civilian town by the Romans about four years later. Of a “King Ludd” and his founding of London, genuine histories contain not a trace…

So regarding the Silverhand Estate’s claims to a “regal heritage”, two things are completely apparent.

First and foremost, King Ludd of the Britons probably never existed. He is a figure from Welsh mythology, with links to the legend of King Arthur. He’s a myth. A legend. All that stuff linking him with London or anywhere else is just folklore. Ludd may have once been a minor Welsh tribal chieftain, but he almost certainly wasn't a King of the Britons. There is thus no real “regal heritage” or “pioneering legacy” for Vineyard Farms to trade off of.

Secondly, there is no concrete evidence to link the non-existent King Ludd with Luddesdown anyway, despite the plausibility of the name.

In terms of the origins of Luddesdown, Edward Hasted’s ancient and renowned History and Topographical Survey of the History of Kent Volume 3 tells us that:

”ADJOINING to Meopham, eastward, lies Luddesdon, commonly called Luddesdown. In the Textus Roffensis it is written Hludesdune, and in Domesday, Ledesdune. This place takes it name from the two Saxon words, leod populous, and dune collis, i.e. the peopled hill, alluding to its situation in this hilly country."

Alternatively, the name of Hludesdune, as cited in the 10^th century Textus Roffensis (Book of Rochester) translates as “Hludes Hill”: it may be that Hlude was a local chieftain of the area. “Hlude” also translates from the Anglo-Saxon as “loud” (and may be the origin of the term "hullabaloo"): perhaps the hill referred to was a meeting place.

But whichever way you slice it, there were no plagues of dwarves, no red and white dragons, no magical giants and no mythical kings in Luddesdown’s history.

Perhaps Luddesdown’s history was just far too boring, obscure and mundane for Vineyard Farms and so they simply decided to invent a more glamorous one to suit their own ends. Perhaps they just are jealous of their (and far more liked) competitor Chapel Down's genuine historical links to their own area and local community, links that they are proud to advertise. Perhaps VF felt they therefore needed to pay a historian to come up with a plausible-sounding load of mythical old cobblers in order to try and give some substance to their whimsical choice of an estate name.

(They have “form” in that respect. After all, they have just paid a top King’s Counsel to argue a legal case that the green belt/AONB planning restrictions affecting their billionaire’s £30m Xanadu can be waived aside, because it really is just the same as an agricultural tin shed, isn’t it?)

Or perhaps they've just been badly advised. After all, Vineyard Farms Ltd are largely just a bunch of business managers, advertising wonks and accountants, not historians. It would be quite amusing to think that a high-powered, multi-million pound company, and one that was looking forward to basing its entire branding strategy on having a "regal heritage", was misdirected by a preference for fantasies and legends rather than historical fact.

Whatever the reason, we should just laugh at their somewhat feeble attempts to subvert our local history to suit their own corporate marketing purposes - but thanks to things like ChatBot AI, made-up twaddle can soon become main-stream. Repeat nonsense often enough and clever-clever algorithms will pick it up and turn it into “the truth” - or at least what the lazy and credulous regard it as.

Vineyard Farms have bought up huge swathes of our local parishes and are aggressively reshaping and policing them in order to hijack their future for profit and glory.

Now, it seems, Vineyard Farms want to reshape and hi-jack our past as well.

Just my opinion of course, but could they really be any more contemptuous of the local area (and its people) than that?

Money can certainly buy you vast swathes of historic green-belt AONB farmland and enable you to industrialise it for profit. Money might buy you a favourable public inquiry result. It might even buy you a reinvented, glamorous history.

But, as the song goes, it can’t buy you love... 

Falling Flat...?

I have been wondering when we might hear from the Planning Inspectorate regarding their almost inevitable approval of the Vineyard Farms’ bid to build a billionaire’s vanity winery on the supposedly “protected” green belt area of outstanding natural beauty of Cuxton’s Upper Bush valley.

Apart from some wishful boasts in the Daily Treehugger (a.k.a. The Guardian newspaper – who somewhat hypocritically seemed to see nothing wrong in the proposed despoiling of a green belt AONB for commercial gain), our new feudal overlords at the winery have been rather quiet since the inquiry finished some two months ago at the start of April earlier this year.

I thought perhaps their dormant webpage might have sprung into life given their optimism, but at the moment it tells us that their “sparkling future” is still “coming soon”.

One new addition is a “shop here” tab, however. Clicking on that leads you to a promo page for their latest brew, the weirdly-named “Silver Reign”. In my (admittedly somewhat jaundiced) view, it seems a rather arrogant branding, redolent of Vineyard Farms’ imperious ambitions to reign supreme over the U.K.’s wine market.

I was initially impressed with the apparent five star reviews, but this seems to be a sleight-of-(Silver?)hand, however - when you click on the review link, the reviews are just general ones related to the supplier, (“The Wine Caverns”), rather than for the wine itself.

Indeed, quickly scrolling through the most recent comments for the past few months, none of them seemed to be about “Silver Reign” at all. Perhaps it’s more of a golden shower than a “Silver Reign”, as forgettable as their last effort. Who knows?  I can’t find any independent reviews of it on-line, anyway.

The boast about “Silver Reign” being a recipient of an award from the “Effervescents Du Monde” - “an international competition between The Best Sparkling Wines In The World”, apparently - also seems somewhat overblown. Only two UK wines featured, both from the Silverhand Estate, and neither of them made it into the top 18 of the final judge’s list.

However, what really did catch my eye was the marketing blurb on the so-called “Technical Sheet”…

…”Silver Reign is a reflection of our regal heritage. We invoke King Ludd's pioneering legacy to bring the unique terroir in the Garden of England to life, producing England's finest sparkling wines…”

All this “King Ludd” stuff is, of course, total nonsense. 

Claims to a “regal heritage” merely seem to be a rather desperate marketing ploy. However, even though their own real “heritage” is quite brief to date, Vineyard Farms can still claim some genuine history, at least when it comes to its past record of desperate marketing strategies.

The “Shop Here” tab on their “Silverhand Estate web-page” doesn’t refer to its earlier produce, such as their M&S branded “Bramble Hill” (which even The Sun only rated as a 3 out of 5)…

…and particularly not their “Harlot” (yes, you read that right) branded wines.

When I first came across it last summer, I initially thought the “Harlot” brand name was a clever play on words (along the lines of the famous jibe by Margot Asquith) and that the “t” was silent, as in “Merlot”.

From the "Harlot" web page - and everybody's answer to the question is, of course, "none of the above"...

A quick look at its awful, garish web-page (and be careful – prolonged exposure to flashing lights can induce epilepsy…) soon proved me wrong, however. The intended target audience very clearly seemed to be quite narrow and not very clever (e.g. Essex Girls out for a hen-night), the sort of folk who would almost certainly pronounce the “t” in Merlot, and probably in a “Sarf-fend” accent as well. 

I thought that perhaps MDCV UK Ltd had decided to let the Monty Python team run its marketing campaign for this one...

As with all things associated with Vineyard Farms/MDCV UK Ltd, the “Harlot” webpage is a strange one. There is no actual mention of Vineyard Farms, the Silverhand Estate or even MDCV UK Ltd itself.

The bottles bear the Silverhand logo, however, and some of the marketing blurb is undoubtedly MDCV UK’s, with the usual boasting of their “plans to revolutionise the English wine market” and how they “have established the largest vineyard in the UK and will be the biggest producer of English wine by 2025, with a production of up to 5 million bottles annually”.

Other marketing slogans for “Harlot” seem quite questionable. “The perfect fizz for a boozy lunch” is one such banner. Whatever happened to “Drink Responsibly”? Should their winery get built and the tourist traffic starts funnelling down Cuxton’s little Bush Road past the local primary school, I’m sure the school-run mums and dads will appreciate the thought of Vineyard Farms’s punters and their “boozy lunches” interacting with the local traffic flow.

Unfortunately, attempting to check the MDCV UK web-site for details on their “Harlot” brand brings up all sorts of hacker warnings. It seems their obsession with security doesn’t extend to IT…

It is clear that the brand line is very much an MDCV product though, but one that they seem to want to keep separate from their other premium lines, as if its parent company was somewhat ashamed of it and didn’t want to be seen with it in public.

It was Rupert Murdoch (anglicising a famous H.L. Mencken quote) who said that “No-one ever went broke by underestimating the taste of the English public”. It's clear that the MDCV UK team behind the “Harlot” brand agree with him.

The rest of the UK wine market doesn’t. Some critics were decidedly sniffy about its “fake fizz” method of manufacture and the “provocative" marketing campaign.

Obnoxiousness as a brand attribute...?

Others suggest that the English wine market to date has been all about building a reputable quality brand at premium prices, and that a bunch of johnny-come-lately arrivistes looking to drag that brand downmarket really isn’t a smart move for anyone in the long term

So why am I digging up last year’s history now? Well, I was reminded of it when I bumped into a young acquaintance of mine and her friends at the Moot tap room the other week, and who had come along to sample the ales on offer.

Whilst their “designated driver” seemed perfectly happy to drink the coffee, the others were trying halves of the various brews. I made an inane comment about “shouldn’t you all be drinking Prosecco?” and quite rightly copped some abuse, good-natured though it was. 

It seemed that this particular group of twenty-somethings really didn’t care much for “Prosecco culture” and its connotations, and so I thought it would be a good time to raise their awareness of MDCV’s premier products, the “Harlot” range (examples of which were indeed available to sample at the Moot bar).

After the initial incredulity and laughter, out came the iPhones or whatever for verification and then the data searching. Within about 30 seconds, they had found a lot of the references I used in this post and some more besides.

Their verdict on the “provocative” advertising...?

One of VF's "Harlot" lovers "having fun"...

“Yuk”. “Tacky”. “Naff”. “Insulting to women”. “Condescending” were the more printable ones. There followed a very amusing discussion about the naming of a male-oriented product along the same lines, with suggestions such as “Gigolo”, “Himbo” and “Manslut” as potential brands (again, just the more printable ones).

From there, things went downhill, morally speaking. If Vineyard Farms really wanted to shock and “be provocative”, then why not call their wine no I won’t type that here.

All of which brings me to my point. Just what are MDCV UK/“The Silverhand Estate” trying to achieve? Are they looking to “shock” in their quest (on all fronts) to be “different”? Believe me, I have recently learned first-hand that Gen Z are pretty much unshockable. They are also well-informed, incredulous and funny.

As one of my new acquaintances suggested in a more serious aside, the “Harlot” campaign seemed rather childish and outdated. It was like an attention-seeking toddler trying to upset its middle-class mummy by shouting “Knickers! Bum! Willy! Poo!” All this clapped-out “Refuse To Conform” shtick is a totem from my old generation, not their young one.

Another suggested that these days, only a woman could get away with devising an advertising campaign that seemed to demean women. The result? Four young women who now won’t touch the Silverhand/MDCV brand with a barge pole and who may be just the tip of the iceberg in terms of “brand poisoning”.

MDCV UK don’t seem to be playing a very clever game at the moment. What’s worse is that they seem oblivious to the long-term consequences for themselves as well as for everybody else.

Their behaviour has blighted the lives of the residents of the little hamlet of Upper Bush. The residents' powerful account of this on the opening day of the public inquiry for the Vineyard Farms billionaire’s vanity winery must have surely made an impression on the planning inspector.

Vineyard Farms’ distant attitude throughout the winery planning process has also pissed off many of their three thousand neighbours in Cuxton. Can they really, long-term, survive the hostility of so many alienated local people, many of whom will now be actively watching their every move?

And now in addition, their brash, boastful and just plain weird marketing seems to have pissed off both some of the UK wine trade and their potential customers. 

So won’t we all just laugh and laugh if, perchance, they have managed to piss off the Planning Inspectorate as well?

Here We Go Again...

No stone unturned: Vineyard Farms' enhancement of Barrow Hill...

Pretty much as expected, Vineyard Farms have finally lodged their formal appeal against Medway Council’s planning committee’s decision to reject their grandiose plans for a vainglorious £30m tourist centre, to be built on one of Medway’s last bits of green belt land and the “area of outstanding natural beauty” that is Bush Valley in Cuxton. They are seeking a 10-day full public inquiry, which will be held within the next three months.  (Update: now scheduled for March 19th 2023)

Naturally, they left their appeal as late as possible, presumably in the hope that everyone had forgotten about it all. We haven’t. 

Since the planning meeting that knocked back the ambitions of billionaire tax-exile Mark Dixon (owner of Vineyard Farms), Vineyard Farms have been busy dumping ugly heaps of spoil along field boundaries across the lower end of Bush Valley and on top of Barrow Hill, where their billionaire’s version of Tracy Island is to be built. 

Numerous warning signs have also sprouted up everywhere, proudly proclaiming their ownership of the land and brusquely reminding people to stick to the very few public footpaths that cross the 1200 or so acres that form their new and bizarrely-named “Silverhand Estate”.

(They seem to have given up on the "Kentish Wine Vault" name since the protestors rather cheekily managed to claim the .com address as their own...)

"The Future Is Sparkling": for Vineyard Farms, maybe, but for the rest of us...?

They have even employed one or two burly, surly “wardens” to roar around their fiefdom in 4x4s in order to accost anyone walking on the farm tracks and demand that they “get orf our larnd”. As a result, much of the beautiful woodland and farmland around Upper Bush and Luddesdown are now sadly off-limits, at least to anyone who wants to avoid a confrontation with a zealous VF employee. 

It all comes across as rather prickly and hostile, and hardly endears them to the local community of Cuxton. 

Local residents have made it clear that they don’t want a football stadium-sized tourist venue in Bush valley, with the inevitable adverse impact upon the quality of life for the people who live in the area. I know that most Cuxton folk want the vineyard to succeed, and would willingly help Vineyard Farms with that, if only they would talk to people and back off a bit. The vineyard bosses could be a welcome part of the local community - if they so chose. 

But they don't care. And neither, it seems, do Medway Council.

As I noted in a previous update, in their formal rejection of the Vineyard Farms plans, Medway Council once more rolled the dice in VF’s favour. Their stated reasons given for rejection were:

“The scale and nature of the proposed development would result in a significant increase in additional activity within the Bush Valley, which would constitute a severe adverse impact and a direct loss of the currently undeveloped tranquillity and wildness of the AONB. It would also lead to the erosion of the rural character and uniqueness of the community of the Upper Bush Conservation Area and the wider Parish of Cuxton, contrary to Policies BNE12, BNE14, and BNE32 of the Medway Local Plan 2003 and paragraphs 177, 197 and 201 of the National Planning Policy Framework 2021…”

No mention whatsoever of the protection of Green Belt land. No mention of the impact of traffic upon Cuxton and Bush Road. Both were heavily debated at the planning meeting, and yet neither argument made it as a formal reason for refusal of planning permission. I went to check the video of the planning meeting, but it seems that Medway Council have since removed public access to it…

By omitting any reference to the most powerful case against VF plans, they have strengthened VF’s hand and severely weakened that of the objectors.

National Planning Policy Framework (NPPF) guidelines with respect to the green belt are quite clear: 

148. When considering any planning application, local planning authorities should ensure that substantial weight is given to any harm to the Green Belt. ‘Very special circumstances’ will not exist unless the potential harm to the Green Belt by reason of inappropriateness, and any other harm resulting from the proposal, is clearly outweighed by other considerations.

“149: A local planning authority should regard the construction of new buildings as inappropriate in the Green Belt…” 

"Just a £30m farm building, honest guv'nor, like wot you'd get on any other farm..."

The case for rejection of VF's scheme when assessed against the Green Belt protections offered by NPPF guidelines is incontrovertible. This development offers nothing by way of "very special circumstances". By omitting any reference to the NPPF green belt clauses, Medway Council have  ensured that the debate will only be framed around the much weaker AONB and archaeological heritage and conservation area aspects. 

Thanks to the wording of the Council's formal rejection notice, the debate will not encompass the most compelling reasons for upholding the decision of the planning committee to reject the VF proposals.

Mark Dixon, owner of Vineyard Farms Ltd...

Both Vineyard Farms and Medway Council will undoubtedly be engaging highly-paid briefs to argue their respective cases at the public inquiry. That's something the "grass roots" opponents of the plans simply cannot afford to do, especially given the 10-day duration of the inquiry. Both Vineyard Farms and Medway Council can afford the undoubtedly huge legal costs that the inquiry will generate. 

But to local opponents of the VF plans, who lack the infinite financial resources available to its proponents, the threat of having costs awarded against them will discourage any attempt by them to get the green belt protection and traffic issues debated at the public inquiry. 

Like we thought all along, money talks. 

In fact, it shouts.

So loudly, that no other voices can be heard.

Given the £30m price tag of the proposed development, the planning inspectorate will almost certainly refer the final decision to the Secretary of State for such things. Up until a few months ago, that office was held by the relatively sane and sensible Michael Gove. He was certainly no fan of Lord Foster’s glass and concrete creations and would have most likely given an objective review of his planning inspector’s recommendations. 

New Secretary of State for Planning, Simon Clarke, with obligatory Union Jacks...

Alas, we are now in the days of a Liz Truss-led Tory administration, where “sane and sensible” pretty much bars you from public office. The office of Secretary of State for planning is now held by Truss cheerleader, Simon Clarke. Mr Clarke was a strong proponent of the Brexit pressure group “Leave Means Leave” and regards green belt AONB land as ripe for development. He has stated that he wants to increase house-building and “take on the curse of Nimbyism”. Indeed, his department has just announced plans to effectively remove environmental protections from areas such as national parks and AONBs in order to establish "development zones". Developers are certainly licking their chops in anticipation of what they expect Mr. Clarke to deliver for them. 

Sounds like just the man Vineyard Farms need to get them what their non-dom owner wants. Those NIMBY Cuxton villagers shouldn’t be allowed to stand in the way of progress, after all... 

I fear the worst. But then, I think the worst has pretty much happened already...